I cannot get one moment of happiness or peace without some absolute bellend ruining my mood. I’m sick to the back teeth of my partners aunt. I had my hen do on Saturday had the most amazing night of my life and then she has to go ruin my mood on Sunday because she’s an absolute mind fuck. Phoning me because her own mum isn’t well, telling me to go round there to check on her, look after her while she’s at home getting ready to go see her mate. You can’t fucking care that much if you’ve just fucked off and left her. And it’s an awkward situation for me because if I don’t run it’s not her who suffers it’s an innocent 84 year old who may need assistance. So I have no choice I’m trapped! Good job I wasn’t hungover isn’t it! So I went round sorted her out she was just dehydrated, whatever I thought, I have tomorrow off, I’ll have a lie in and get some peace.
WRONG! I’m lay in bed and hear banging like my front door is being kicked in. Naturally I flew into fight or flight heart racing not knowing what the hell was going on, flew down the stairs and scream who is it at the door. It’s me! Open the door now! Couldn’t find my keys could I, didn’t have any pants on either. I told her to wait but she kept banging n banging, barely got the key turned before she nearly knocked me out with the door. My mam isn’t answering the phone get round there! Get round there now! I was like here calm down you’ve rang her twice she’s probably just putting some washing in, still screaming in my face, then she stormed off shouting call me when you find out she’s okay. Here’s a fucking idea, go find out yourself. Took a few minutes after that for me to realise what the hell just happened and I phoned her mum and sure enough she’d been in the kitchen. All that drama and causing a scene in my street for fuck all. Absolutely raging I was! Couldn’t go back to bed, adrenaline was too high, another lie in ruined.
Later on when I saw her not a single word of apology or thanks. I figured as my lie in was ruined I may as well go round make sure her mums hydrated, do some washing for her, make sure she eats etc. I was too mad to say anything because her mum was there in the room and I didn’t want to blow my stack in front of her and I knew I’d go for the jugular so I just went to leave. As I’m leaving she pipes up asking me when I’m fixing her tv. I just said my partner can do it, it’s his aunt after all. But she was like ah but he’ll be tired. OH HE’LL BE TIRED FUCK IF IM TIRED THEN. I’m just your slave. I didn’t do it, I walked out.
I’ve told my partner how I feel about his aunt and he’s just not wanting to get involved. Saying he understands her side because she’s not herself she’s having a breakdown and that I’m just spoiling for a fight. So now I’m not speaking to him either. She’s having a breakdown that involves being absolutely fine to see all her friends, do what she pleases when she pleases, lay her demands on me and yet I’m somehow the one in the wrong? I don’t think so! I have literally done everything for this family for months and months on end with no thanks, no support for me when I need it I just have to get on and quite frankly it’s a lonely place to be. Sick of hearing the absolute bollocks that I’m part of this family. Yeah cinderella was part of her family too and still got treat like shit. I’m literally going to explode.
Planning a wedding, sorting out his nana all the time, dealing with aunts never ending list of demands, having a stressful time at work and guess what no time left for me to just relax at the end of it. Best of it is, they’ll be like ah why you miserable for? Your always mopey, why don’t you want to go out and do stuff, why are you always tired? Like it’s some massive puzzle. I think it’s quite bloody obvious why am knackered. I’m mentally fried here. I have nobody to sort my shit out. All I know is I can’t go on like this because it’s affecting my mental health badly and what’s more shit is the fact I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, talk about it calmly. It’s resolved nothing. It’s causing arguments between me and my partner and we are getting married in 4 weeks. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I can’t carry this weight alone for much longer, I’m going to let go and if it all crashes down around his aunt then so be it because at this point it’s my survival or hers and I have to save myself. I CANNOT AND WILL NOT have another bipolar breakdown because she’s pushed me into the abyss. Everyone is going to have to deal with it because I’m done, I am doing fuck all else for now because I need a break! I need to recharge. I have too much on my plate without other people’s stuff being added!
Really need a chat with my senior at work too because I’m sick of things being lumbered onto me too in there. Like sorting others mistakes out and being left to sort absolute awful things out by myself and I think it’s bang out of order because it’s not my mistake to sort. Why should I have the absolute head blag of that. Having to stand typing every single barcode into the machine to look at the graphs because nobody tried sorting anything out for 4 whole days. Having to phone and apologise to people for other people’s mistakes like I’m the culprit. It’s a joke! I nearly burst into tears today because of it. I wanna go back to the happy times of Saturday before it all went to shit again. I feel so angry. I feel so sad inside. I feel tired. I feel scared. I feel like I’m losing control a bit.